The Impossible
by Lily Kalanoa
Summary: Sog fic. OK, extremely weird pairing read to find out and some serious yoai, but nothing that bad. First person point of veiw. Enjoy Final revision up! re read if you already did, it's lots better now!


All right, first things first. This story has one of the strangest parings I've ever seen. I'm letting you all know that any and all flames or reviews that are criticizing this story just because of the pairing will be deleted and I may send a flame back. You can still give bad reviews, but if it's just about the pairing, they will be deleted. Other than that, all criticisms are welcome. 

On to the boring stuff. You should all know that I don't own YYH. I also don't own the song, which belongs to a wonderful country singer whose name escapes me. And, oh so sadly, I do not own the bishies. I love my Hiei-kun so much, and I hope he doesn't hurt me for this strangeness. Oh well. This is also going to be one of my entries for Rose Thorne's YYH yaoi contest!! Go check it out and read the page. So, anyway, big thanks to her for the inspiration or at least the initiative. I so love my many muses . . .

// . . .//  song lyrics.

**

//My dad chased monsters from the dark,

Checked underneath my bed.

He could lift me with one arm,

Way up over atop his head.

He could loosen rusty bolts,

With one quick turn of his wrench.

Pulled splinters from his hand,

And never even flinched.//

I lean heavily against a tree, sides throbbing. I don't know how long we've been running, but everyone is tired. Hiei seems to be the only one still moving normally.

"I think . . .we . . .lost them," Yuusuke pants.

"Hn. I'll check the trees. Stay here." The short youkai flits off.

Kurama smiles, starring at where he had just been. "I don't think he ever gets tired."

Still too out of breath to reply, I only nod. Suddenly Hiei is back, his usual scowl fixed on his lips. "They're still on our trail. They have some talented trackers, so I doubt we can really lose them. But it slows them down. We've got to keep moving." The others nod and push themselves up, preparing to move on. Hiei glares at me. "Come on, moron."

I glare back. "I'm coming, shrimp. Jeez, keep your cloak on." I push myself up, following as Hiei easily takes the lead. He moves like an animal in his element. I'm surprised he isn't taking to the treetops, he's _never_ on the ground. Oh well, I certainly don't mind being able to see him.

After a while of walking, we come again to rest among the trees. Kurama is the first to stop, a twisted ankle beginning to throb painfully. Immediately, Hiei is crouching beside the fox making sure he's all right. I can feel my cheeks flush with color and turn away quickly before anyone can see. Instead I focus on the trees around us, mesmerized by the depths before me. Someone could be ten feet away, and I'd never see them.

Without warning, an arrow lances from those hidden depths, bringing my thoughts suddenly into reality. It whizzes inches from my nose and pierces Hiei's shoulder, sending him sprawling to the ground. More shots follow and we gather ourselves to retreat. Hiei spins to face the attackers with Yuusuke, covering for us as we run.

Beside me, Kurama stumbles on his weak ankle. Before he even brushes the ground I scoop him into my arms. The others catch up with us before I even realize it and I look down at Hiei. He's still scowling, but his eyes hold something akin to appreciation. After all, I saved his fox.

At last we reach the portal back to the Ningenkai and slip though, arrows still filling the air around us. As the portal closes, I set Kurama back on his own feet and he is instantly the focus of all eyes. "Did we get it?" Yuusuke asks eagerly.

The redhead smiles and pulls something out of his bag. It's the trinket that Koenma needed us to get back, not that I can even tell what it is. "I couldn't have gotten it without you guys. The distraction really helped." Kurama's smile widens and he hands the small item to Yuusuke who leaves to take it to Koenma.

I allow my eyes to wander to Hiei's shoulder where that first arrow still protrudes on both sides. Did he fight and come all the way here like that? Carefully he and Kurama snap off the tip and remove the shaft. I look on, careful to keep the concern from my face. Hiei can handle one measly arrow.

//In thirteen years I'd never seen him cry.

But the day that Grandpa died,

I realized.//

One little task for Koenma done, only hundreds left to go. Yuusuke came back with news of an A-class youkai in the area that needed dealing with. It isn't exactly hard to find the thing, ugly and terrorizing humans. We attack quickly, certain we can win just as fast.

But demons are funny that way, they tend to fight back. There is still no way it could win, but it is certainly trying it's best. One lucky blow catches Kurama on the jaw and he goes flying into the air, spinning wildly, and lands with a sickening thud. He doesn't get up.

Well, so much for that demon; never piss off Hiei. I run with the others to Kurama's still form, the demon now in several pieces behind us, and bend to check his injuries. Almost before I reach him, I am pushed out of the way as Hiei kneels by the fox.  My eyes burn, but I blink away the feeling. "Chill, shrimp. It's not like I was gonna eat him or nothing."

I catch a glimpse of the Jaganshi's face and immediately regret my words. His eyes are wide and frightened. There's that burning feeling again. _Damn it, I will not cry, I will not!_ Hiei lifts Kurama, content that his injuries are not that serious, and we hurry to Genkai's temple and Yukina.

//Unsinkable ships, sink.

Unbreakable walls, break.

Sometimes the things you think will never happen,

Happen just like that.

Unbendable steel, bends.

If the fury of the wind is unstoppable.

I've learned to never underestimate,

The impossible.//

It seems so bright and cheerful outside, doesn't match my mood at all. There's Yukina. I jump up and smile hugely at her. "Yukina! I'm so glad to see you!"

She returns the smile and the hug. "It's good to see you too, Kazuma-kun."

How long have I been doing this? Practically jumping at every woman I see. Am I trying to hide my feelings, or just trying to deceive myself? I've never been much of a thinker; this is probably beyond my understanding. But I still wonder about it. I was never this open about flirting before I met Botan and Hiei and the others. Maybe I am just trying to show them this side of me so they never suspect the other.

Suddenly I'm not in too much of a mood for this sunshine. I head into the temple. I know Yukina is following me, worried about me. But that's all right. She's probably the only one here that I can really talk to.

I find a dark room and sit. I can't keep my mind from drifting back to Hiei, to how he looked at Kurama. He had been so afraid. I let out a frustrated sigh as Yukina sits beside me. "Kazuma-kun, what's wrong?"

I open my mouth to speak, but think better of it. I can't burden her with this, she loves me. And just like everyone else, she thinks I love her . . .Doesn't she? "Relationship problems?" I gape at her, to stunned to speak. "Yes, I know you don't love me. I'm too close to you not to know."

All I can mutter is a humble 'I'm sorry'. She shakes her head and kisses my cheek. "I like you. A lot. But it isn't love. You aren't my soul mate in life, so it's all right that you love someone else. That you love Hiei."

My eyes widen to an unimaginable size. How could she possibly know? She smiles and stands to leave. I can't help but wonder what other supposed secrets she knows. Everyone always assumes that she is so innocent. We all cover our actions with masks of our own making, hiding secrets we want no one to know. But maybe Yukina is the best actress of us all.

Ah, school. A wonderful place where one's mind can thirst and grow, unhindered by petty reputations and transcending physical boundaries. But none of that interests me. School is a place where you can unwind and forget about the problems of the outside world. You can study (yeah right), play youth sports (are you kidding?), or participate in clubs (me?).

Or there's always beating on your enemies and rivals. I set off in search of Yuusuke, in the mood for a nice punching bag to raise my spirits. Even if I'm that punching bag. I find him on the roof, as usual—must remember to thank Keiko for that tip.  But he isn't alone, Botan is there with him.

"Hey Urameshi! I challenge you to a fight."

Botan jumps at my voice. "Honestly! Must you be so loud? Boys, ugh!"

Yuusuke turns towards me, his face stony. "We've got another mission, Kuwabara."

"That's right," chirps the ferry girl beside us. "Another demon is in the Ningenkai. It's calm now, but that won't last long. It's an 'S'."

//Then there was my junior year,

Billy had a brand new car.

It was late, the road was wet,

I guess the curve was just to sharp.

I walked away without a scratch,

They brought the helicopter in.

Billy couldn't feel his legs,

They said he'd never walk again.//

Suddenly my friend's somber mood makes sense. An S-class? In the Ningenkai?! This is bad beyond words. I feel my face grow colder, the blood not quite reaching my cheeks. An S-class is in the Ningenkai . . .and _we_ have to fight it. That is so far down my list of 'ways I want to die' it isn't even funny. I remember the last time I fought an S-class, I do **not** want to do it again.

But there isn't a choice. If we let that thing run loose, it will destroy everything. I shudder and focus on Yuusuke who is talking again. "We have to find it before it becomes active. I'll do that since I'm strongest." Botan and I nod, not bothering to debate with his ego. "Botan, you go to get Kurama. At least tell him what's going on if he needs to stay for the rest of school."

"I notice that isn't a problem for either of you." She frowns her disapproval and leaves.

Yuusuke turns to me. "That leaves you to try and find Hiei. We're really going to need his help for this one."

I falter. "Me? Find the shrimp? Why me?" He is doing this on purpose—oh is he going to pay.

He smiles at me. "Well, there's no one else here!" Could he know how I feel? Is he trying to torture me? No, no one knows. No one ever will. He's just having fun sending me after my supposed archenemy. I cross my arms and leave in silence. Twenty to one says I know where Hiei is.

I ring the bell at Kurama's house, knowing he isn't there. Shiori answers and smiles brightly and lets me in. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

I smile and rub my neck in embarrassment. "Uh, no. Renovation or, something, no school today. Hey, I left some stuff in Ku-I mean Shuichii's room. Would it be all right if I ran up to get it, Shiori-san?"

"Yes, that's fine. I have to go to the market, though, please lock the door when you leave." I nod and bow politely. I grab my shoes and head up the stairs, knowing full well I won't be leaving through the front door.

//But Billy said he would, and his Mom and Daddy prayed.

And the day we graduated,

He stood up to say.//

'Shuichii's' room is spotless, of course. It seems to shine with cleanliness, even in the dim light. I go to the window and open the blinds, noting that it is indeed unlocked. Then I glance around, looking for some sign that Hiei is actually here.

I find it in the form of his boots, carefully hidden out of view and partly under the bed. He was here all right. I feel my face grow hot as my mind lingers on the past night's possible activities. I shake the thought away and try to find the shrimp. 

Well, the obvious place to find him would be the bed. But this is _Hiei_ I'm talking about. I walk to the closet and slide it open to find the small Jaganshi asleep. Gods, is he beautiful! I kneel and lean over him. A small blanket hides most of his form, but his head and sleek shoulders are visible. I lean still further forward, barely containing my desire to touch him, kiss him . . .

A cold strip of metal presses against my neck, halting my advances. I lean back, Hiei sitting up to keep his katana right against my throat. His eyes drill into mine. "What are you doing?"

"There's a demon. An S-class. We have to fight." Slowly he removes the blade and I sigh in relief, thankful to still have my windpipe hole free.

But I'm not out of the woods yet. Hiei glares at me. "What were you doing, baka?"

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat.  How could I possibly explain something like that? "I was going to wake you up. What, you think I was going to kiss you or something?" The truth sounds so ridiculous, it makes the perfect cover.

Hiei sits there, staring at me. Can he see me sweating? I stare back with what I hope is a contemptuous gaze. But it's hard, he's so gorgeous—and shirtless to boot! "Hn," he finally turns away and begins searching for his cloak. I begin to breath again.

There is the sound of the front door opening followed by hurried steps. The door to the room opens and Kurama bursts in. He pauses, seeing Hiei and me there, but recovers quickly. I wrinkle my brow at him "Don't you have school?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Saa, this is more important. 'Aunt Botan' excused me for the day. Thank Inari 'Kassan isn't here." By now, Hiei is crouching, pulling on his boots. He stops at a sudden smack on the head from Kurama. "Wait until you're outside. You'll get the carpet dirty and I don't want to clean it again." 

"Damn kitsune. Never have to pay attention to stupid customs in the Makai." Hiei curses and hops out the window to pull on his boots. After a quick glance at each other, Kurama and I follow.

//Unsinkable ships, sink.

Unbreakable walls, break.

Sometimes the things you think will never happen,

Happen just like that.

Unbendable steel, bends.

If the fury of the wind is unstoppable.

I've learned to never underestimate,

The impossible.//

"Kurama, get down!" The kitsune obediently drops as a large shot of ki sizzles the air just above him. He leaps up immediately, Rose Whip in hand, and charges once more at the large demon. And once more barely dodges in time to avoid a powerful blast.

This is going nowhere. None of us have any effective distance weapons against this youkai and that means fighting close. Close to those powerful arms. Thos powerful ki wielding arms. Those **four** powerful ki wielding arms. This is going nowhere.

"Kuwabara!" Too late, I whirl to avoid the punch. Stumbling, I allow instinct to take over and avoid the deadly blows reigning around me. Out of the things reach, I pause for a second to regain my balance before charging back in. A few well timed swings of my spirit sword and suddenly we have the advantage, one of the monster's arms hanging uselessly at its side.

I hesitate just a split-second to celebrate my victory. A split-second too long. I jump back a split-second too late and feel the thing grab my ankle. A second hand grips my thigh and suddenly my world is nothing but pain. I'm vaguely aware of flying through the air and tumbling over the ground when I land, but currently my focus is locked on my broken leg. I blink open my eyes and look back at the battle, praying my strike was enough.

The others are doing well, they seem to have the advantage. It's a good thing this area is deserted too, the buildings look ready to topple over. Granted, most of them were condemned to begin with, but still! I watch in morbid fascination as blow after blow is exchanged. Yuusuke fires his spirit gun and I can literally see the youkai shudder under the hit. At last, it seems we can win. 

I see Kurama receive a blow to the stomach and stumble. Wide-eyed, I watch the demon aim a ki blast at the fox. Kurama spins only to face the blast, too late to dodge.  But the kitsune is saved. A blur of black pushes him to the side and then tries to move himself. 

But too late.

My insides turn to ice as Hiei is rocketed backwards. Suddenly my own injury is forgotten and all I can think of is him. I crawl to the small form and grab his arm. My ears are filled with sharp cries of pain as I drag him away from the battle and into the shelter of an alley. Once we're safe I rest, exhausted and in more than a little pain myself.

His coughing draws my eyes back to his body and the increasing pool of blood beneath him. He's hurt bad. "Hiei, hang on. You gotta stay with me." Us! Us! I meant to say _us_, not _me_. His eyes open slightly and he glares at me. But I'm too worried to play this game. "You gotta hold on until we can get you some help."

He shudders and his eyes inch closed. He forces them open again and tries to focus on me. "I can't—" he is cut off by another coughing fit. Once he's under control he focuses on me again. "I don't have the ki to heal myself."

This isn't happening, he isn't dying. I practically rip my shirt off and press it against his side; I have to stop the bleeding. Hiei groans and grabs my wrist. I jump at how weak his grip is, but still determined. "Nani?" I ask, pulling back slightly.

He winces again. "Leave it." I nearly fall over from shock. What did he say? He groans again and tries to push my hand away. "It's too bad, can't be healed. Just leave it alone."

I sit frozen for a moment before pressing the shirt into his side again. I flinch as he actually cries out in pain and glares at me. "I'm not going to let you die, Hiei, so don't give up on me." He growls weakly, but it quickly dissolves into more coughs.

We sit several minutes in relative silence, his ragged breathing and the distant battle the only noises. I was shocked to hear Hiei's voice cut the tension, "How's Yukina?"

"What? Why?"

"Baka! It's getting hard to stay awake. Talk to me you moron."

Gods, do I feel stupid. "She's, umm, good, I guess."

His eyes begin to slip closed again. "You're a pretty decent couple, I suppose."

Wow. Hiei must be having a really hard time if he's bringing that up. "I wouldn't know. We aren't together." He's looking at me with very confused eyes. But at least he's awake. "I think of her as a sister. I protect her like a sister because . . .because her brother won't."

His eyes are confused again and he's having trouble comprehending my words. "You knew?" His voice is weak and filed with pain. "How . . .?"

"It's kind of hard to miss."

Suddenly his eyes turn accusing. "And you've told her."

"No!" I practically scream at the little demon in front of me. "I wouldn't! I—I couldn't. I think she knows anyway, but I didn't tell her. You don't want her to know, so I never said anything." I notice his eyes are closed again. Has he fallen asleep? Dropping my voice to a whisper, I tell him what I could never tell him in life—what I've never even said aloud. "I love you, Hiei."

//So don't tell me that it's over,

Don't give up on you and me,

'Cause there's no such thing as hopeless,

If you believe//

There's a second of silence before, "Nani?" His eyes creep open and lock with mine. He was awake? He heard? "What did you say, Kuwabara?"

Even in my panicked state, I notice his use of my name and my mind does a happy little back flip before focusing on the present again. I stare at my leg, unable to look at Hiei. I can see a small trail of my blood and the glimmer of bone, but oddly I don't feel it right now. I feel my mouth working and hear myself speak again. "You weren't supposed to hear." When did my heartbeat become so loud? When did it get so hard to breath?

I **_need_** to change the subject. "Hiei, we need to get you to Yukina. Or Botan."

"It's too late. I don't have the ki."

His voice is getting weaker by the second, and his eyes are closed again. "Well, maybe I can give you some of mine. How do I do it?"

"Same way the ningen did for Urameshi."

My voice catches in my throat. "I have to kiss you?" He nods, barely moving his head at all. By now he isn't aware of the world around him, probably doesn't understand what I asked him or what the answer means. How I thought he was when I opened my big mouth earlier. If I'm going to save him, it has to be now.

It was supposed to be a chaste kiss. Very simple, lip to lip, breathe in breathe out kiss. But **you** try giving an innocent kiss to the object of all you fantasies and desires. Almost against my will, my tongue slips out to dance over his parted lips before delving into his open mouth to graze over his teeth. It is sweeter than I ever could have imagined.

For a few precious seconds, he didn't respond, just lay relaxed beneath me. The moment abruptly ends, however, as I feel Hiei tense. My tongue was resting on the tip of his fang and I am suddenly very happy not to have a tongue ring. My eyes spring open to meet crimson ones. His eyes are wide enough to reveal white all the way around blood red irises.

I pull away immediately and look at the ground. _Don't look at me like that. Please, Hiei. Look away, leave. Just go. Don't look at me like that. Please. Hiei, just leave. Say something. Anything. Please! Don't look at me like that. Hiei, please._ I can't look at him. I can't think! Why won't he **say** something?!

//Unsinkable ships, sink.

Unbreakable walls, break.

Sometimes the things you think will never happen,

Happen just like that.

Unbendable steel, bends.

If the fury of the wind is unstoppable.

I've learned to never underestimate,

The impossible.//

"You meant it, didn't you?" Okay, I lied. I don't want him to say anything. Or at least, not that. I don't look at him and continue my silent prayer. Oh, why won't he just go? "Why?" I tense at the question. "Why never say anything?"

I raise my eyes slightly. He's rolled onto his side, propped up on one elbow and trying to look into my face. There my lips go again—working without my permission. "You . . .and Kurama . . ." He laughs. Very short, almost unheard. But it increases in length and volume. Gods—he's laughing at me. And he won't _leave!_ Maybe I should be the one to go, but I can't even walk. I'm completely at his mercy. 

The laughter doesn't last as Hiei quickly regains his control. He's still smiling though—he's so beautiful when he smiles, I don't think I've ever seen it before. But that smile is so ominous at the same time. "You moron." I want to look away so badly, but his eyes have captured mine. I have no control here. "Kurama and I are partners. I love him like a brother and good friend, nothing more."

Is it possible to go pale and blush at the same time? It must be, because I think that's what I'm doing. And my heart has totally stopped—my breathing too. If they aren't together, I could still . . .but that would never happen.

There's a soft noise in the distance and Hiei's eyes thankfully release their hold on me as I turn away. Kurama and Yuusuke are coming. Yuusuke is limping badly, and Kurama is holding his stomach like he didn't quite dodge all the punches. But it looks like they won. I turn back to Hiei only to be frozen as my lips meet his. They are sweeter than honey.

The moment lasts only a second before he pulls away. Did he mean for that to happen? His hand grips his still painful wound and he lies back on the ground. He may be alive and stable now with enough ki to survive, but that doesn't change the fact that he's hurt bad. I cannot find my voice.

He's not smiling anymore, but his eyes are still happy as he looks at me. "Baka ningen. We both know where the other stands now. Let's just see how this develops now that there are no incorrect assumptions. No misconceptions." There is a pause before he pushes himself up shakily. "Come on, Kazuma."

That's right, not baka, not moron. Not even Kuwabara—the name used by most of my friends. _Kazuma_. I stand on my good leg and lean against the alley wall. I wish I was still in that adrenaline rush from talking with Hiei—my leg really hurts.

The others arrive and inform us of their victory, murmuring that they couldn't have done it without us. Kurama offers his shoulder and I thankfully use the fox as a crutch to get home. I can't stop staring at Hiei now. He thought I loved Yukina, just like I thought he loved Kurama. No misconceptions, that's what he said. Could he really like me? Or was all that just one big misunderstanding?

His small form stumbles and he reluctantly accepts Yuusuke's support for the short trek home. He turns his head toward me and our eyes lock. Could he possibly have real feelings for me under that stony mask? There is no chance. It would be impossible.

A small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

Maybe . . .

**

Didn't I warn you it was a strange pairing? I love my little bursts of insanity. I wrote this mainly to give Kuwabara some credit. He's really a very nice guy and very noble, honorable, and a great friend. But so many times I see him portrayed as idiotic (I'm not saying he's smart, but you understand) and a general loser. So this is for him, and all my loyal fans too – if I have any that is. 

Ugh, I revised this three times, and I'm still finding verbs in the past tense. I've decided I don't like writing stream of consciousness present tense stuff. This is the final revision though, no more verb tenses *curls into a ball and shivers* Thanks to my reviewers who liked it! I'm glad that none of you think this deserves flames. Still, I know I'll get them eventually, or at least I would without the warning. Ah well. Special thanks to Rose Thorne-you reviewed so fast! And also to Juri-chan. I'm a super supporter of HieixKurama too, but I thought this was nice. And, lastly, thankies for whoever caught the alley misspelling. I can't spell T_T. Hope you all like it despite my matching the tallest and shortest characters together. That has got to look bizarre. Oh well. Arigatoo! Ja matta ne!


End file.
